Friday, 10 December 2010

It's Been A Funny Old Year


I sneak in at the back, full of Meal Deal: crisps, ploughman’s sandwich, diet coke – ooh and I had one of those giant éclairs too. I’m late. Everyone is looking. Although, wait a sec... *checks blog stats* ... actually no one is looking.

Ooh, ooh, wait! Someone from Australia’s just clocked me – I can see the Aussie flag on the screen and everything. No...no... she’s gone. She was searching for “pigeon mating patterns” anyway - can't think why she ended up here.

‘Ms. Allsorts.’

They’re clapping now – my 68 – no wait 67 – no wait 66 followers.

‘Tell us a bit about your blog – your writing – and stop – well – eating’

I can feel my coke fizzing and bubbling in my chest – I may well belch in a moment.

‘OK, OK,’ I say, standing and pulling my skirt from knickers. I clear my throat. ‘Well, it’s been a funny old year.’ *good start, yeah?* ‘I’ve broken all my previous writerly records.’

It’s true - I sold one story in 2008, three in 2009 and *drum roll please* ELEVEN – yes eleven in 2010 - good yeah? And my first three chapters have been with two agents for YONKS. OK, so they’re probably lost – but a girl can dream. And, and...well actually that’s it. Ooh no, I have other news. I had a story in the BUMPER issue of My Weekly a couple of weeks back – such a gorgeous magazine, and the picture was delightful.

‘You can sit down now, Ms Allsorts – we...’

‘No wait let me tell you about my GOALS for 2011.’

Everyone’s rolling their eyes, but I’m going to tell them anyway.

‘I want to write like David Nicholls – I want to write like David Nicholls - I want to write like David Nicholls. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY – LUNCH everyone....anyone.?’

HAVE A LOVELY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR ONE AND ALL!

24 comments:

Tom Foolery said...

My God she's finally finished stuffing her gob and is finally writing again! Praise the Lord!

Now Ms Allsorts sod the idea of writing like this David Nicholls character (who is he?) and write a ruddy cook book instead ;-)

Have a grand Christmas and a Happy New Year m'dear

Onwards and upwards for 2011 :))) TFxx

Amanda said...

Ha Ha - that made me laugh, TF. Trouble is I appear to be writing twiddle (not even twaddle!) Although I have plans for my blog in the new year, so watch this space!
Ooh, and David Nicholls is a fabulous author who wrote 'One Day' - I'm obsessed with how his writing made me laugh and cry in a public place!

Debs said...

Good to see you here again, you've been missed.

Congratulations on beating your personal writing best with those excellent sales and good luck and happy writing in 2011. x

Karen said...

You've had a great writing year and I'm sure the next one will be even better :o))

Now I'm hungry after reading that - where's the crisps??

joanne fox said...

Well done on the eleven!

Have a merry, fizzy, happy Christmas and a spectacular 2011. x

Suzanne Jones said...

Fantastic, Mandy. Go, you.

XX

penandpaints said...

What a great year, well done on the eleven stories, that's brilliant!
Best wishes for a successful 2011!

Amanda said...

Aw, thank you, Debs. X

Thank you, Karen :-) - salt ‘n’ vinegar or smoky bacon? X

Ooh, I like the sound of a fizzy Christmases, Joanne – have a good one yourself x

Thanks Suz x

Thank you, P&P x

Flowerpot said...

That sounds like a great 2010 Mandy and go for it in 2011! David Nicholls - mind you, he's done a lot of writing before That Novel!

Amanda said...

Thank you, FP! :-) And yes, I'm a little fixated on One Day, as I LOVED it so, so much! But I also loved Cold Feet and many of his other scripts - and I've put Starter for Ten on my Christmas list in the hope they match up to One Day! :-) - I may do a post all about him - oh God I sound a little bit stalk-y! But then he is rather cute ;-) x

Madeleine said...

Well done Amanada.
I wish I didn't spend as much time blogging and that I did spend more time writing like you, then I might be at least half as successful.;O)

Colette McCormick said...

2010 was good but 2011 will be better,

Amanda said...

Thank you, Madeleine. :-)
Blogging can suck a lot of hours - but then it's so much FUN!!

2011 is going to be our year, Colette - I can feel it in my bones! :-)

CarolB said...

More successes for you in 2011 I'm sure Amanda. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Amanda said...

Thank you, Carol :-)

David said...

Well done on your successes, Mandy. That's a fantastic end to the year and I know 2011 will be even better. It's always good to take a step back and see how far you have come.

I'm just about to start 'One day' and am SO excited by what you've said about it. I just know I'll love it!

Hope you have a lovely Christmas and a great New Year!

Dx

Amanda said...

Thank you, David, and a very merry Christmas to you too! M x

Jarmara Falconer said...

Well done you! Have a great 2011

Merry Christmas

Amanda said...

Thanks Jarmara, and the same to you!
:-)

Lane said...

Well done!

And all the very, very best for 2011. x

womagwriter said...

Well done on your 11 sales in 2010 - fantastic total!

Happy New Year to you too.

Amanda said...

Thanks you Lane and Womag x

Talli Roland said...

Wow, sounds like it is quite the rollar-coaster! :) Glad there are plenty of good things happening in your world!

Amanda said...

Thanks Talli!