Friday, 10 December 2010
I sneak in at the back, full of Meal Deal: crisps, ploughman’s sandwich, diet coke – ooh and I had one of those giant éclairs too. I’m late. Everyone is looking. Although, wait a sec... *checks blog stats* ... actually no one is looking.
Ooh, ooh, wait! Someone from Australia’s just clocked me – I can see the Aussie flag on the screen and everything. No...no... she’s gone. She was searching for “pigeon mating patterns” anyway - can't think why she ended up here.
They’re clapping now – my 68 – no wait 67 – no wait 66 followers.
‘Tell us a bit about your blog – your writing – and stop – well – eating’
I can feel my coke fizzing and bubbling in my chest – I may well belch in a moment.
‘OK, OK,’ I say, standing and pulling my skirt from knickers. I clear my throat. ‘Well, it’s been a funny old year.’ *good start, yeah?* ‘I’ve broken all my previous writerly records.’
It’s true - I sold one story in 2008, three in 2009 and *drum roll please* ELEVEN – yes eleven in 2010 - good yeah? And my first three chapters have been with two agents for YONKS. OK, so they’re probably lost – but a girl can dream. And, and...well actually that’s it. Ooh no, I have other news. I had a story in the BUMPER issue of My Weekly a couple of weeks back – such a gorgeous magazine, and the picture was delightful.
‘You can sit down now, Ms Allsorts – we...’
‘No wait let me tell you about my GOALS for 2011.’
Everyone’s rolling their eyes, but I’m going to tell them anyway.
‘I want to write like David Nicholls – I want to write like David Nicholls - I want to write like David Nicholls. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY – LUNCH everyone....anyone.?’
HAVE A LOVELY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR ONE AND ALL!
Thursday, 2 December 2010
I'm happy to do my bit today (actually I'm a bit late with this as I've been away - sorry Talli!) in helping fellow blogger and writer Talli Roland's debut novel THE HATING GAME hit the Kindle bestseller list at Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com
If you don't have a Kindle you can download a free app at Amazon for Mac, iPhone, PC, Android and more.
About THE HATING GAME:
When man-eater Mattie Johns agrees to star on a dating game show to save her ailing recruitment business, she's confident she'll sail through to the end without letting down the perma-guard she's perfected from years of her love 'em and leave 'em dating strategy. After all, what can go wrong with dating a few losers and hanging out long enough to pick up a juicy £2000,000 prize? Plenty, Mattie discovers, when it's revealed that the contestants are four of her very unhappy exes. Can Mattie confront her past to get the prize money she so desperately needs, or will her exes finally wreak their long-awaited revenge? And what about the ambitious TV producer whose career depends on stopping her from making it to the end?
It's coming soon in paperback and you can keep up with the latest at
Wishing you lots of luck, Talli!